Diabetes Burnout

I am deep within a stage of ‘diabetes burnout’.  It’s not as bad as when I was younger and would stop giving myself insulin – I haven’t skipped giving myself insulin at all this time.

But….I just don’t have the motivation to care that much right now.  I’m feeling like diabetes takes up too much of my time and thought and so I’ve been ignoring it as much as possible. I still check my blood sugar – but sometimes only 2 or 3 times a day.  I correct for high blood sugars but I don’t analyze why it’s happening, like I normally do.  Thus, my average blood sugar for the past 30 days is around 185 instead of my normal 120.

I need to find it in myself to really *care* again, but right now I’m just feeling very anti-diabetes. I don’t want to think about it and I don’t want to deal with more than the bare minimum.

I think part of the problem is that even when I talk about diabetes with friends or family….no one really understands. You can’t…really…unless you have it. Yet, I am also not turning to the DOC. I don’t feel like reaching out to anyone online. I guess it’s part of the not-caring about diabetes right now.

I wish I knew why exactly this is happening now and what I can do to get over it.

…But a part of me doesn’t even care that much about the reasons.

I’m hoping that my next post here will be more upbeat.  (Unless I post about Walgreen’s Pharmacy….then my next post is going to be angry!)


2 thoughts on “Diabetes Burnout

  1. natsera says:

    Boy, do I know about diabetes burnout. Because I was diagnosed as an adult, I know exactly what it’s like to eat whatever you want, whenever you want to and as much as you want to and never worry about highs or lows. It just gets to be such a burden to ALWAYS be having to think about it. Sure, good diabetes care can prevent many of those highs and lows, but that’s just the thing that you feel like avoiding at the moment. So the only thing I can tell you is that you’re doing the best you can at the moment, and you need to give yourself a break. As long as you’re taking your insulin, and testing often enough to treat any dangerous highs or lows, you deserve to take a couple of hours every day to NOT think about diabetes. For example, eat a lunch that you know the carb count well, and take your bolus, and then don’t think about it until dinnertime. Not that I think you should permanently sluff off, but for a short time, say, a week, I don’t think it’s going to hurt you. Consider it a diabetes vacation of sorts — all vacations must come to an end, but everyone deserves as much of a vacation as they can afford sometimes! 🙂

  2. I’m there too right now, girl. it sucks. Apathy at its finest. In my experience, I have had to hit rock bottom before things change. If you don’t let your self get there, then you are doing better than last time. give yourself more credit. it seems like you are trying to, but the lack of appreciation keeps you down.

    You have diabetes. that means you have a PhD in diabetes. you deserve a gold medal everyday. you deserve for your doctor to say “holy smokes, you are a diabetes rockstar, even when in burnout your numbers are AWESOME”

    thank you for writing honestly about this. thank you for taking care of yourself even when you REALLY don’t want to.

    this community is better with your voice included.

    looking forward to reading about how things might turn around for you.

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