I am deep within a stage of ‘diabetes burnout’. It’s not as bad as when I was younger and would stop giving myself insulin – I haven’t skipped giving myself insulin at all this time.
But….I just don’t have the motivation to care that much right now. I’m feeling like diabetes takes up too much of my time and thought and so I’ve been ignoring it as much as possible. I still check my blood sugar – but sometimes only 2 or 3 times a day. I correct for high blood sugars but I don’t analyze why it’s happening, like I normally do. Thus, my average blood sugar for the past 30 days is around 185 instead of my normal 120.
I need to find it in myself to really *care* again, but right now I’m just feeling very anti-diabetes. I don’t want to think about it and I don’t want to deal with more than the bare minimum.
I think part of the problem is that even when I talk about diabetes with friends or family….no one really understands. You can’t…really…unless you have it. Yet, I am also not turning to the DOC. I don’t feel like reaching out to anyone online. I guess it’s part of the not-caring about diabetes right now.
I wish I knew why exactly this is happening now and what I can do to get over it.
…But a part of me doesn’t even care that much about the reasons.
I’m hoping that my next post here will be more upbeat. (Unless I post about Walgreen’s Pharmacy….then my next post is going to be angry!)